Whether you're sharing a dorm room or your first apartment with a roommate, it's hard to discover all his quirks before you live together. If you end up with a roommate who likes to party and who dominates your home with loud music, flowing drinks and plenty of friends, it can be difficult to approach him with your concerns. If you aren't getting much sleep or your home is being destroyed, it makes sense to discuss some common courtesy rules that will make you both happy. If he's unwilling to compromise, it might be time to work out a new living situation.
Set boundaries with your roommate. The boundaries might include that parties end at a specific time or that they don't involve any illegal activities. It's best to do this as soon as you move in together, but sitting down and figuring out how you'll both be happy living together works anytime one of you is upset with the other.
Create a schedule. Asking your roommate to choose just a day or two each week or a couple of nights each month to host parties lets you know what to expect. This way your roommate feels like he can use your home as he wants, but you won't have to put up with constant parties.
Ask your roommate to clean up after the parties. If a big part of your resentment has to do with the mess left behind, it's not too much to ask that your roommate clean up the drink glasses and snack plates after the party ends so you don't have to.
Avoid nagging your roommate about partying. The more you bring it up, the greater the chances that he'll keep having parties just because he's tired of being hounded about it. Use a respectful tone and refrain from judging or insulting your roommate and he might be more likely to work with you.
Use earplugs or a white noise machine to drown out the party sounds. This is helpful if you have to go to bed early, want to read a book or need to study. It keeps you from having to listen to the music and loud voices in other parts of the house, and it also may prevent you from having a confrontation with your roommate.
Enjoy the parties. If you usually avoid your roommate's friends and hide out when he hosts parties, joining in the fun can let you see the event in a different way. Have a drink and socialize at the party and you might find out you enjoy it just as much as your roommate does.
Find a new roommate. If you own the home you're sharing, you can ask your partying roommate to move out and then carefully choose his replacement. If your roommate owns the home, you can find another place to rent. If you share a dorm, talk to the college you attend about moving into another room.
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Eliza Martinez has written for print and online publications. She covers a variety of topics, including parenting, nutrition, mental health, gardening, food and crafts. Martinez holds a master's degree in psychology.
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