How to Be Dateable to Men

by Alysia D. Roehrig

As women become more empowered, many are increasingly finding it difficult to create time for dating and attracting eligible men. While different men look for different attributes in a woman, there are general habits and traits that drive men away. A number of attributes exist that you can adopt if you want to make hay while the sun is still shining.


Many professional millennial women do not find suitable dates because of their attitude, according to an article by Larissa Faw in Forbes magazine. They are looking for physically attractive men with a high-flying career, within their networks and circles. They are also unwilling to go out of their way to meet men in clubs or social media because they do not meet their expectations. Carry out a self-evaluation before placing expectations on a prospective partner. Change the way you think about love and be open-minded when meeting new people who might lack some of the qualities on your wish list.

Confidence and Self-Esteem

There is a popular saying that for you to appreciate another person, you must appreciate yourself. A confident woman is happy about her abilities, appearance and achievements. According to Lisa Merlo-Booth, most women are willing to downplay their achievements and exalt their weaknesses so that people around them will not feel intimidated. However, you do not have to lower your standards for acceptance. Let the other person accept you the way you are. A confident woman knows how to carry herself and makes up her mind. Confidence forms the basis of trust in a relationship. Women with low self-esteem appear tense or worried throughout a date, which can ward off men, as they cannot hold a conversation.

Taking it Slow

Do not be the kind of woman that wants it all just in one date. Take time to learn about the other person. Otherwise, you may appear nagging, desperate or controlling. For instance, do not give details of your life such as past relationships, financial woes or family weaknesses during initial dates, according to Anthonia Akitunde. If you tell him everything at first, there will be nothing to discover about you later on. Also when dating, do not be quick to curtail the man’s freedom or control his life in the hope of bringing out “husband-material” qualities.

Appreciation and Respect

It is good to be confident and independent. However, there are limits when it comes to dating. Men want to feel wanted and helpful to a woman. Avoid insinuating that you have it all, and you do not need him; you are going to be single for a long time. Respect a man for whom he is, even if he is of lower socio-economic status. You will get admiration and respect in return.

About the Author

Alysia Roehrig began writing in 1997. Her work has been published in various online publications. She is a teacher and educator with experience teaching first grade and special education. Roehrig holds a Ph.D and an Master of Arts in psychology from University of Notre Dame.

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