Asking Someone to Be a Maid of Honor

by Contributor

Whether your maid of honor is your cousin, your fiance's sister or your best friend, you need to ask her in a special way. After all, she'll be planning your shower, coordinating with the other bridesmaids and -- most important -- calming your nerves.

Step 1

Wait a few weeks after the engagement before asking someone to be your maid of honor.

Step 2

Invite the woman who you'd like to be your maid of honor on a special outing such as to an upscale brunch.

Step 3

Bring a small gift as both a token of your friendship and a way to say "thank you" in advance.

Step 4

Lead up to your question by telling her how much she means to you and how happy you would be to have her share in your wedding day.

Step 5

Ask her to be your maid of honor. Be willing to take "no" for an answer.


  • There's no rule against having two maids of honor. If you can't decide between two people and you want to avoid hurt feelings, ask them both to be maids of honor.


  • Don't dole out too many wedding tasks. Have an honest discussion with your maid of honor about what she has time to do and about what the two of you can work on together. Don't risk the friendship by assigning so much work she becomes resentful.

Photo Credits

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