Dealing with a man who is using you can be a nightmare. When it is time to say “Goodbye!” to Mr. Wrong, stand your ground and be confident about the breakup. There are too many nice guys in the world to settle for one who is interested only in what you can provide.
Be Up Front
There is nothing wrong with simply telling him to hit the road. If you are the blatantly honest type, this may be the best option. There are no good reasons to hang on to a man who is using you. If you feel the need, explain to him that he may want to get his act together before approaching a different relationship with the same desires in mind.
Less Direct Approach
Not everyone can use the bold, “Get out of here!” approach. You may want to confront your man with your concerns first. Let him know that his actions are unacceptable. If you feel like he is taking advantage of you, let him know. If you are having doubts about making a change, marriage and family therapist Dr. Paul Hokemeye recommends in "Toxic Relationships: Recognizing Key Signs" that you consult a friend for advice. Toxic relationships can wear on your self-esteem and self-worth, causing your perception of a bad situation to be inaccurate.
Continuing to give your man everything he wants will only complicate the problem. Whether it is money, a place to live, sex or just your generosity, cut it off. Stop feeding his selfish desires. Once he realizes he can no longer use your resources, he may leave on his own. A man with a selfish and needy personality is not likely to change. Do yourself a favor and stop this behavior early, before you lose more than you have invested in the relationship.
Regardless of your approach to ridding yourself of a man who is using you, your life will be richer without him. Take steps to prevent this situation from occurring again. If you notice that a man is very accepting of your generosity without paying you the same favors, take heed. You want to be a good partner, but you should not tap every resource you have to prove this to him. Strive for a balanced relationship.
Christa Orion is a psychologist in training with focus on family and relationship health. She has years of experience working with individuals going through domestic issues.