In this age of social media, boundaries that were once considered firm are now being challenged. Virtual etiquette is not yet set in stone, so sometimes sticky situations may arise. If you get a friend request from your ex-husband's wife, you may be unsure of how to proceed or of what her intentions are. Proceed with caution and think about her possible motives before deciding how to deal with the issue.
She Truly Wants to be Your Friend
Sometimes people are just as they seem. As a society, we tend to look deeper into the meaning of things because it is how we've adapted to social situations and how we cope with uncertainty. However, your ex-husband's wife may just want to get to know you. Maybe she thinks that the two of you share a certain bond -- you both decided to marry this man at some point for some reason, and she may feel that you can connect on that level.
She Wants Dirt
Unfortunately, there is typically some sort of drama involved in a divorce, especially if there are kids involved. She may want inside information for legal reasons. Anything posted online by you may be admissible in court, warns attorney Jeff Landers in "How Social Media Can Affect Your Divorce," published by "Forbes." If you are active on social media platforms and air your dirty laundry often, or even hint at issues, it may be in your best interest to decline the friend request. Even if you don't accept her request, keep this information in mind since you may have mutual friends who can see what you post.
Your ex-husband's wife may just be curious about your life in general. Who wouldn't want to know why her spouse married someone? A marriage is such a special bond, and your ex-husband's wife realizes that. She may want to see what you're like, what your interests are, and why your spouse liked you in the first place. She may feel that social media is a safe way to satisfy her curiosity.
She's Jealous or Suspicious
Jealousy is a common feeling among wives who are dealing with ex-wives and step-children. Your ex-husband's wife may feel jealous about your relationship, either perceived or real, with your ex-husband, or the relationship that he has with your kids. Either way, she may feel the need to do a little digging if she's feeling jealous. She may want to see how you interact with your ex-husband on social media sites, if you do so at all.
How to Proceed
How you handle this situation if up to you. Legally, it may be in your best interest to avoid social media contact with your ex and his wife. Seek legal advice before proceeding and ask yourself how this interaction would affect your current situation in life. If you want to avoid awkward interactions after declining a friend request, talk about the situation in person with your ex-husband and his wife and express that, although you don't want hard feelings, you feel that it may be in everyone's best interest to avoid social media interaction.
Jennifer Oster holds a Bachelor of Arts in social sciences from Louisiana State University and is also a certified lactation counselor. An expert in the field of infant and maternal nutrition, she began writing professionally in 2005 and has been featured in many nationally acclaimed magazines.
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