How to Pick Up a Guy at a Gay Bar

by Contributor ; Updated September 28, 2017

How to Pick Up a Guy at a Gay Bar. Most people who you'll find in a gay bar are there to pick up people of the same sex. Patrons may want to pick people up for dates, relationships or one night stands. Gay bars are one of the few places where homosexuals can go to make these pick-ups without running the risk of offending a potentially heterosexual person, and that's part of what makes the bars so popular in the gay community. If you want to pick up a guy at a gay bar, there are a few simple techniques you should learn.

Spot your target and approach him quickly. Once you see someone you're attracted to in the gay bar, make eye contact with him immediately. Then, walk up to him within a minute of making eye contact. If you wait any longer, his attention may have moved elsewhere. Worse, you may come across as timid or hesitant, which are not attractive qualities to most men.

Have a few conversation-openers handy, but avoid using any obvious pick-up lines. Chances are, your intended guy has heard all of those lines before, anyway. Talk about something different and neutral, such as the atmosphere of the bar itself, a popular TV show, local politics or even the weather. The point is to get into a conversation as quickly as possible.

Offer to buy your guy a drink. Not only will this show you're a generous person, it will also get the guy to relax a little bit and become more open in both the conversation and in his interest in you.

Move to somewhere more private. Find a quiet corner of the bar where the two of you can take your drinks and engage in more intimate conversation without being distracted by the noise and activity of other people.

Try to close the deal. If the conversation is going well and the two of you seem to be hitting it off, ask for the guy's phone number and give him yours. Then, be sure to call him the next day. Contrary to popular belief, guys will not become more interested in you if you make them wait a week for your phone call. In fact, it will only annoy most of them.


  • Before heading out to the gay bar, spend some time attending to your personal hygiene. Shave, brush your teeth, shower and wash your hair. Pluck any hairs that need plucking and clean and trim your nails, if necessary. Everyone appreciates a well-groomed person, and gay men are renowned for their commitment to cleanliness. Dress in a sexy, alluring manner without becoming a walking billboard for sex. Try to adopt the look of a hot guy from a fashion magazine ad.

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