Putting the brakes on irritating your boyfriend can be the difference between experiencing passionate sparks on a date or noticing your boyfriend rolling his eyes and muttering under his breath in annoyance. By being a little more perceptive of the things you do and say you can avoid evoking a negative reaction from him. If you want the relationship to work, you have to take the necessary steps to change your annoying habits.
If you already think you are annoying him, stop right there. When you call and text him and he doesn’t answer immediately, it may trigger fears of rejection on your part because you’re wondering where he is and who he’s with. If you are worried about him leaving you, that may be a reason why you are being annoying. Focus on building your confidence by reminding yourself that he chose you to be his girlfriend for a reason.
Try listening to your partner; it may help you to be less annoying. When you are communicating with him, try talking less and avoid interrupting him, even when he takes a pause in the conversation, suggests William Doverspike, Ph.D. in "How to Improve Your Listening Skills" on the Georgia Psychological Association website. Neither of you can focus on the problem at hand if you are both talking and no one is listening. If he said he finds you annoying, ask him what it is specifically that annoys him. If you listen to his perspective, you can work to change your behavior.
No Nagging Nancys
One of the most frequent relationship gripes is nagging, says Molly Howes, Ph.D in "The Cure for Nagging" the on Psychology Today website. There are much better ways to communicate your feelings and issues than to badger him. Think about what you are saying and how you are saying it. Talking to him calmly using upbeat language will lead to better responses. Negative statements like, “Don’t walk away when I’m talking,” will make him shut down. Instead, try saying something like “I really appreciate it when we sit down and talk about things that could improve in our relationship. Can we do that now?”
Sometimes a simple apology can work wonders in a relationship. When you realize that you are annoying him, look him in the eyes and offer a sincere apology. Try to be specific in your apology. For example, say “I’m sorry that I got on your case for being late when you were stuck in traffic.” If your boyfriend needs a bit of break from you because he’s annoyed, do something nice for him. Get him tickets to watch his favorite football or basketball team. You could also encourage him to have a night out with the guys.
Nina Edwards holds a doctorate in clinical psychology and has been writing about families and relationships since 2000. She has numerous publications in scholarly journals and often writes for relationship websites as well. Edwards is a university lecturer and practicing psychologist in New York City.
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