Often in dating, the onus of the initial approach falls on men. That can be a lot of pressure for guys who fear being rejected by the women they are interested in. Making the first move and pursuing a new love interest can be intimidating for even the most confident of guys, but mastering the art of flirting can help.
Attitude is Everything
Successful flirting starts with a confident and friendly approach, according to dating coach Neil Ward, author of “Online Dating Mastery: The Ultimate Online Dating System." Before walking up to a woman, give yourself an internal pep talk and remember everything you have to offer. Don’t appear anxious or unsure when you introduce yourself. Instead, hold your head high and keep a confident smile plastered across your face.
All in the Eyes
There is a lot of flirting power behind your eyes, according to Nicholas Boothman, author of “How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You in 90 Minutes or Less." Start by throwing “the look” towards the lady you are interested in; a smoldering gaze combined with a friendly smile makes it clear that you are intrigued. Then when you are talking, subtly drop your eyes down to her mouth every once in a while. She may not even realize you are doing it, but, according to Boothman, this move subconsciously signals sex.
Pay attention to your flirting partner's body language and adjust your own accordingly, suggests psychologist Jeremy Nicholson. During an initial interaction, keep your body language nonthreatening by subtly leaning away and using small gestures until the woman you are flirting with seems to relax in your presence. Once that happens, you can lean forward and become more animated in your movements. Gently brush your hand against hers as if by accident and take the opportunity to guide her through a room with your hand placed lightly at the small of her back if you get the chance.
A Touch of Humor
It is important during an initial flirtatious conversation to keep the tone light, according to Ward. You can do this by relying a bit on humor to break the ice and get a girl laughing. Don’t make the mistake of launching into a full stand-up routine, but crack a few subtle jokes here and there to lighten the mood and show you have a witty side. Pay attention to how she responds and avoid any commentary which could veer towards being offensive.