How to React to a Girl Who's Flirting With You

by Anthony Oster

How you react to a girl flirting with you can be the determining factor between getting her number or going home alone. While there may be times that you want attention from a girl, you can also use this to your advantage when you are not interested in the girl flirting with you. Decide how to respond to this girl's flirtations by determining whether you are interested, or uninterested in her potential romantic advances.

Responding if You're Interested

Smile to acknowledge the girl that is flirting with you. If she gives you a compliment, make sure to compliment her in a similar manner.

Pay attention to her body language and mimic it when possible. If she leans in toward you to start a conversation, for example, lean in toward her when flirting back. Mimicking her body language is a non-verbal way of showing interest. Make sure to make plenty of eye contact and genuinely smile at her during your conversation. In a 2008 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Martin House, Sean Horan and Lisa Furler suggested that non-verbal communication played a significant role in making positive first impressions during speed-dating scenarios.

Respond back in a subtle, but playful or humorous manner to break the ice. Playfully drawing attention to her advance may lighten the mood and pave the way for further flirting. A playful response to "I love guys with big hands; they always give the best massages," might be "Oh, I'm terrible at massages, but that hasn't stopped me from trying."

Responding if You are Uninterested

Avoid replying to any obvious attempts at flirting from a woman you aren't interested in. An example might be responding to "Oh, I love guys with big hands; they always give the best massages," with "Oh, thanks." Many women will get the hint that you are uninterested after a few blunted responses such as this.

Alter your body language to show that you are not interested. Avoid eye contact, turn away from her and keep your arms crossed and in front of your chest to give the impression that you are not interested in her advances.

State clearly, but politely that you are uninterested if she continues her advances. If you deem it necessary, you can add that she isn't your type, or that you're waiting on someone. In their 2010 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Stephanie Tong and Joseph Walther noted that subjects were more likely to be polite during a rejection if there was a chance that they could encounter this person again. You never know when you might have to interact with this girl again, so politely letting her down may avoid any unwanted social faux pas later.


  • Even if you are uninterested, avoid being rude, juvenile or mean to girls flirting with you. You never know when someone that you are interested in may be listening in.

About the Author

Anthony Oster is a licensed professional counselor who earned his Master of Science in counseling psychology at the University of Southern Mississippi. He has served as a writer and lead video editor for a small, South Louisiana-based video production company since 2007. Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company.

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