As exciting as it is to hear a guy say sweet words, it can be awkward if you don’t know how to respond. You may get nervous or feel weird when hearing compliments. How you respond is important because it can affect how he sees you and what sorts of things he feels comfortable saying in the future.
Don't Deny It
When a guy says something kind or complimentary, avoid responding in a negative way. Women are more likely to turn down compliments than men, according to the book, “Language and Gender,” by Mary Talbot, who holds a doctorate in critical discourse analysis. If a guy says “You look beautiful in that dress,” don’t say, “This dress is old.” You seem ungrateful. Not accepting his compliment can make him feel like his opinions are invalid, and he may not be comfortable complimenting you again
When someone says something sweet to or about you, think of it as a gift. You must show appreciation. Some people have trouble accepting a compliment. If they are insecure, they may not agree with the statement. They may also wish not to appear egotistical. You can graciously accept a compliment without seeming big-headed. Accept compliments with a genuine smile and a “thank you.”
Compliment Him Back
If a compliment is a gift, it is polite to return the favor. It is important to be sincere when saying something kind to someone. Being specific can make the comment more meaningful. For example, if he says he is happy to spend time with you, you could say, “Thank you, you are so kind.” But a better response would be to say, “Thank you. It is always great being around you. We have fun and you make me laugh.”
Express Your Feelings
When you receive a positive comment, respond by letting him know how you feel about it. If his comment genuinely makes you smile, say “thank you, it is so nice to hear that. It makes me happy.” If you are feeling flattered, you can let him know that he is making you blush. Smile, use a flirty tone of voice and laugh. Flirting will not only express how you feel about his comment, it will also make him feel good about himself, according to matchmaker Rachel DeAlto in the book “Flirt Fearlessly: The A to Z Guide to Getting Your Flirt On.”
- Psychology Today: The Art of The Compliment
- Language and Gender; Mary Talbot
- 48 Self Esteem Activities for Women: Powerful Exercises for Overcoming Low Self Esteem Plus 50 Positive Affirmations on How to Love Yourself; Corinna Bowers
- Flirt Fearlessly: The A to Z Guide to Getting Your Flirt On; Rachel DeAlto
Sarah Casimong is a Vancouver-based writer with a Bachelor's degree in journalism from Kwantlen Polytechnic University. She writes articles on relationships, entertainment and health. Her work can be found in the "Vancouver Observer", "Her Campus" and "Cave Magazine".
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