How to Deal With an Unhappy Marriage

by Contributor

If you feel like you are in a bad marriage, there are things that you can do to help yourself deal with the situation. Whether you want to leave or stay in the marriage is not as important as evaluating yourself and what you want in a relationship. Follow these tips to deal with an unhappy marriage.

If you're in an unhappy marriage, make a list of everything you want in a marriage. Your list can include things like honesty, sobriety, and fidelity. Be honest and take your time. List everything you can think of. Make sure you put everything in writing. This step will help you begin to deal with an unhappy marriage.

Next to each item on the list put a check next to each attribute that you absolutely must have in a relationship. Each item you check is something you can not tolerate living without.

Now go through the list and put a circle next to the attributes you like, but can live without.

Evaluate your marriage. Are there attributes of your relationship that you must have but don't? Be honest with yourself. Underline the things you must have but don't. If you have a check mark next to honesty, but your relationship lacks honesty, underline it. Now you may starting to see how you can deal with an unhappy marriage.

Next to each item on the list put the number 1 next to all the attributes you believe you embody. Nest, go back to the top of the list and put the number 2 next to the things your spouse embodies.

To deal with an unhappy marriage it's important to do this inventory. Try to embody all the things you want in a good marriage. The only person you can change is yourself. Once you change for the better, your marriage will most likely change for the better.

If your significant other has attributes you cannot tolerate, accept his or her behavior. Once you accept the behavior, it is okay to make the decision to stay or to leave. Once you are in acceptance about your relationship, you will be able to deal with an unhappy marriage.

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  • Divorce will not change the type of person you attract.
  • You need to be what you want to attract in a marriage or relationship.


  • If there is a problem of addiction in your relationship, contact the appropriate 12-step organization.

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