Even in mature relationships, money is an issue. Indeed, financial problems are often listed as the top reason for divorce. But money can also form a wedge between you and your boyfriend. Lending money to your significant other is tricky and can become even stickier if he doesn't pay you back. If your boyfriend is constantly borrowing money, you should ask him to stop. But in a romantic relationship, this is easier said than done.
Chances are he pulled the financial heartstrings on you. He may have told you about the hard times he is going through to give you a guilt-trip. Turn the tables on him. Tell him about the bills you must pay and explain your financial situation. Be specific so that he understands how his borrowing affects you.
Help him solve his financial issues. Figure out a budget. Help him find ways to cut expenses. Suggest using a personal finance program that can assist in identifying where his money is going. Take into consideration his love of fine dining, electronics, $100 sneakers or tickets to sporting events.There is also the possibility that he needs to find a higher-paying or second job. These are hard truths to face, but they need to be discussed.
Tell him the truth. Find a good time and let him know that you want to discuss something important. Try not to get angry or place blame. Continue to be understanding about the hard financial time he is going through, but be firm. Tell him that money is tight. You cannot continue lending money. If he is worth his salt, he'll understand and stop asking.
Ask him to sign a promissory note. It is a win-win situation. Either he signs and you'll have a legal document that compels him to repay you, or he refuses to sign and you don't give him the money. He may be turned off by the legality of it. With the audacity he has to borrow the money, you have the right to show the same audacity in protecting yourself. If he acts offended or tries to convince you to trust him, simply tell him you read an article that warned of the perils of borrowing money in relationships and it advised securing a promissory note. Free templates can be found all over the Internet. CNBC's financial guru, Suze Orman, offers a downloadable copy on her website. [See resources.]
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Margaret Sharpe is a graduate of California State University with a Bachelor of Arts in journalism. Her writing experience spans more than a decade and includes features for "San Pedro Today" magazine, fashion and lifestyle blogging for Sparkle and Fuzz, and broadcast news reporting for Hawthorne Community TV.