How to Look Masculine. In our ever sensitive society, the manly man is becoming about as popular as a Brittney Spears parenting class. No more. There are a growing number of us regular guys who pride themselves in being the macho, masculine, madly driven carnivores that we were made to be. So stick around and read the following steps if you're a man who doesn't want to be seen as a panty waste.
Get a tattoo. Whether it's a stick on or the real thing is no big deal. Just make sure you tell everyone how much you loved it when Bruno the Tattoo Man made your arm bleed for an hour.
Wear an eye patch. While this may seem a bit over the top, nobody will doubt the masculinity of the one eyed wacko staring them down at Wal-Mart.
Stick out your chest. Even bird-chested posers look manlier with their chests jutted out. Add a cocky strut and you'll have any woman within 1000 yards swooning.
Walk with a limp. There's something manly about a limp. Maybe it's an old football injury or perhaps you got your leg slashed in a knife fight or caught in a combine. Just make sure your story is grisly enough to get the attention of your audience.
Throw away the razor. Forget about shaving. Do not doubt the manliness of a guy with a full beard. If you can't pull it off, cut some off the top and fill in the patches. It may look ridiculous but nobody will mistake you for that mild mannered pretty boy you used to be.
Cut up your clothes. True, the shredded look is out but who cares what those pansies on "What Not to Wear" think.
Keep from smiling. Manly men don't smile! They growl and scowl at everyone.
Wear some steel toed boots. Even if they clash with your duds, they'll come in handy when its time to throw down.