How to Forgive


0:00 Giving is great, forgiving is divine. How to forgive? This is Dr. Paul, may your fantasies

0:12 of today be your realities of tomorrow is one that I say at the ends of all my shows.

0:18 Well, there's a fantasy that some of you may have that you haven't quite achieved and we're

0:24 going to talk about that. I'm the author of "Boomer Girls: A Boomer Woman's Guide to Men

0:28 and Dating." The fantasy that you may not have achieved is the one of forgiving. You

0:35 can forgive and maintain your dignity. Just because you've forgiven someone for what they

0:42 did, does not mean that you have to again associate with them. Sometimes, we have to

0:51 forgive ourselves, and we have to associate with ourselves, and the way to forgive ourselves

0:56 is simply to put it behind us. Don't carry the baggage. And the same is true with the

1:03 other. When you have you been slighted, you have been really, really possibly persecuted

1:11 in a situation, then you forgive, you don't have to forget, but it relieves you of the

1:20 burden you are carrying. So it's really about you, because if you constantly relive, that

1:26 pain, the person that you're living the pain from wins, and you want to win. For example,

1:34 someone who has wronged you has died, and that keeps working on you over and over and

1:41 over. So they reach out from the grave, and they're affecting your life. Get rid of the

1:46 baggage, toss it over your shoulder, right into the sea, over the bridge. That baggage

1:52 is gone. By doing that, you've forgiven that person, not forgetting it, but you've forgiven

2:00 that person for your own reasons, because you don't want to carry the burden. This is

2:09 Dr. Paul, and may your fantasies of today be your realities of tomorrow.