Most people enjoy going to a party every now and then, especially when it presents a chance to catch up with friends you don't see often. But for some people, life revolves around the excitement and adventure of going to a party. This can cause problems in their relationships.
The Party Lifestyle
The partying lifestyle includes more than just getting together with friends occasionally. For many participants, the point of a party is to consume large amounts of alcohol or drugs and possibly meet a romantic interest or sexual partner. If you are dating a woman who goes to this type of party on a regular basis, it would certainly be understandable for you to feel insecure. If your girlfriend is completely committed to you, you should be able to trust her. If she isn't committed, she could potentially meet someone else.
Partying and Addiction
If your girlfriend avoids social situations where no one will be drinking or doing drugs, but seems excited about any social event where she can drink or get high, then she may have a problem with substance abuse. This doesn't necessarily mean she's addicted. Many people drink too much or have a problematic relationship with alcohol without being full-blown alcoholics. It is important to note that drugs and alcohol can cause problems in your girlfriend's life and in your relationship even if she isn't technically addicted.
Talking About It
If you suspect that your girlfriend has a problem with drugs or alcohol, the most important thing is not to make it any worse by doing anything that would make it easier for her to drink or use drugs. Don't buy her alcohol or leave alcohol around the house. Don't suggest going out to a party where people will be drinking or taking drugs. Don't cover for her when she is hung over or make excuses for her behavior while intoxicated. According to addiction psychology expert Deborah Morrow, there's nothing you can do to make her change her behaviors if she doesn't want to, but you can talk to her about addiction and ask her to get a second opinion from an objective source such as a doctor or addiction specialist. If your girlfriend isn't addicted but has been overdoing it, she may be willing to moderate her behavior, according to the Alcohol Problems and Solutions website.
Defining Too Much
Your perception that your girlfriend is partying too much may come down to a basic difference in personality. If you are introverted and she is extroverted, her preference for being where the action is may seem excessive to you -- but not to her. You should consider whether the two of you have enough in common to pursue a relationship.
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Scott Thompson has been writing professionally since 1990, beginning with the "Pequawket Valley News." He is the author of nine published books on topics such as history, martial arts, poetry and fantasy fiction. His work has also appeared in "Talebones" magazine and the "Strange Pleasures" anthology.
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