Many parents are expected to put their children’s needs above their own, but an emotionally abusive mom would do the opposite. Her own interests are prioritized over her child’s, according to Adults Surviving Child Abuse. Her actions do not reflect those of a mom who is looking out for the best interest of her child. An example is a mother who “mis-socializes” her child by encouraging him to engage in criminal or indecent behavior.

For an emotionally abused child, bullying starts in the home. The mother may be verbally abusive and hurl insults, rude names and put-downs at him. Her comments are degrading and she might demean her child publicly just to humiliate him. If her child shows that he is upset, she invalidates his feelings, either acting like his emotions don’t matter or that it is his fault for being too sensitive, according to “Signs of Emotional Abuse” on PsychCentral.com.

A mother who is emotionally abusive tends to be possessive and controlling, even when her children are adults. She may overlook different aspects of her child’s life and expect him to run all decisions by her, no matter how little. The child is not seen or treated as someone with thoughts and feelings independent from her own. If she does not have a close circle of friends, she may forbid her child from hanging out with friends, isolating him from his peers.

Emotionally abusive mothers know how to use emotions to manipulate their children. An emotionally abusive mom will play the victim if her child protests her requests or shows disapproval of her behavior. She might use emotional blackmail by holding back affection, giving the silent treatment or sulking to make her child feel guilty. When it comes to taking responsibility for her actions, she does not own up to her mistakes and usually blames her child. She may have a hard time saying sorry, or may never apologize at all.