Communication is important for any relationship, but it can be frustrating when your girlfriend seems unwilling to keep those lines of communication open. Knowing how to handle yourself when she won't call can make the difference between keeping your relationship healthy or letting space grow between you both. You can use a few different approaches to reestablish your connection to your girlfriend and strengthen the bond you share.
The nonchalant approach is a safe method for you to get back in touch with your girlfriend if she has not called you. Give her a few days to call you, and then call her with a casual tone, making sure that you are not accusing her of avoiding you. For instance, you can tell her, "Things have been pretty busy around here for a few days and I haven't had the chance to call you. So, I wanted to get back in touch and see how you are doing." The message is relaxed, does not place blame and give her the opportunity to reconnect with you as well.
Control Your Imagination
In a relationship, your imagination can be your worst enemy, and the most certain way of ruining things between you and your girlfriend. Focus your thoughts on the last time you spoke to your girlfriend, and try to remember if she mentioned anything that could divert her attention for a few days. This may include family coming to visit, long hours at work or some problem she faces at home. Remember that she has a whole life away from you, and she may face challenges in her life that do not involve you. Make yourself available if she needs someone to talk to and try to relax while she works through her situation.
Ask Her Out
When you believe she is upset with you, give her a little time and ask her out for a date. You can use your date as a way to give both of you a chance to talk, discussing the reasons why she is upset. Choose something that you enjoy doing together, but make sure that your evening includes time to talk. Pay attention when she tells you the reason she is upset, and try to be understanding.
Games are the little tests that people put each other through, especially in new relationships. This includes not calling for a few days to see if you call her. As your relationship develops, both of you will have fewer reasons to play these games, but they are often a part of the early relationship process. If the games begin to bother you, you can consider leaving the relationship and finding a new girlfriend.
- "Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE"; Barbara Rose; 2005
- "The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships"; John Gottman; 2002
Kristyn Hammond has been teaching freshman college composition at the university level since 2010. She has experience teaching developmental writing, freshman composition, and freshman composition and research. She currently resides in Central Texas where she works for a small university in the Texas A&M system of schools.