Discovering that your wife has been unfaithful can leave you feeling hopeless and thinking divorce is the only option. If you take some steps to forgive her and work through your marriage, you could find yourself happier than you've ever imagined.
Consider marriage counseling. Chances are there was lack of communication in the marriage that may have contributed to the affair. Counseling can help teach necessary skills on how to talk to each other effectively. Alternatives to counseling with a professional include personalized advice online through questionnaires.
Make lists. Both partners should write down negative and positive behaviors and changes that each would like to see in the other. This activity should be done over a period of days so a great deal of thought is put into it.
Find out the reason your wife was unfaithful. Do this without blame. Discuss what current problems in your marriage that may have contributed.
Reassure yourself so that you can forgive. Allow her to convince you that the affair is ended, and she will let you know where she is at all times. This reassurance will allow trust to be rebuilt over a period of time.
Figure out how you both can reconnect. Discuss how you can make your marriage better than its ever been, both emotionally and romantically. Try to think of alternative ways of doing things that you were not happy with before.
Read and talk. Gather books and read online about infidelity and forgiveness. Many marriages have survived an affair and reading about other couples' success stories can offer guidance.
Talk to your close friends and family about your wife and her being unfaithful. You may be amazed at how much encouragement they will offer you. Make sure that they will support your choice to forgive her.
- Any type of expert help will be a positive step in healing.