Playing video games is a common pastime, but when your boyfriend is obsessed with them you may feel lost as to what to do. However, you have options. Talking about how you feel regarding his obsession or joining him in the activity are among the ways that you can take action. Aim for a strategy that results in better communication and understanding in your relationship.
Can't Fight Your Feelings Anymore
Communicate to your boyfriend that you have a problem with how much he plays video games. Acknowledging and accepting your own feelings, tell him how his obsession affects you. Unless you discuss your feelings regarding his video games, then things will appear fine as far as he is concerned. Ask him to pause his game so you can talk and then get straight to the point. Avoid blaming him or magnifying the problem as you offer a solution. For example, you may say "I know you love your video games, but I feel left out when you play them so much."
X on the Calendar
Setting dates or outings together breaks up his video-game time while giving you more time together -- not to mention that going on dates enhances a relationship. Doing activities together disrupts the monotony that can establish itself in a relationship, whether or not that monotony involves one partner constantly playing video games. To facilitate cohesion, pick activities that both of you enjoy.
Unleash Your Inner Gamer
Playing video games with your boyfriend can be a way to turn his obsession into a relationship tool. Joining with him in one of his favorite activities shows your love for your boyfriend. You show him that you recognize his passions and are willing to share the activity with him. According to research in a 2012 issue of "Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin," men tend to show love by including their partners in their favorite activities. By playing games with your boyfriend, you meet him halfway and indicate that his games don't have to be just for him, they can be for both of you.
You, Yourself and You
While you should address your boyfriend's obsession with video games, you can use some of his gaming time as your "me" time. Taking time for yourself does not mean you ignore potential relationship problems, but it does mean that you get to have more private time. Many people in couples who do not take "me" time cite this lack of privacy as a source of unhappiness, according to a 2012 GoodTherapy. org article. When you do things by yourself, you get a breather from your relationship, your boyfriend and his habits. You come back to your relationship with less stress. After setting aside time for an enjoyable activity, you will find that your time with your boyfriend becomes that much more valuable.
S. Grey has a Master of Science in counseling psychology from the University of Central Arkansas. He is also pursuing a PhD and has a love for psychology, comic books and social justice. He has been published in a text on social psychology and regularly presents research at regional psychology conferences.
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