Getting a boyfriend back is a difficult process for Christians and anyone else if the relationship is not meant to be. If you feel deep in your heart that the boyfriend is "the one," trust God to work it out in His own time. Praying for the relationship and that your heart will be open to whatever God has in store for you is key in getting your boyfriend back. If the relationship is doomed, prayer enables you to live your life to the fullest without him.
Pray about the relationship. Give God all your concerns. Trust His judgment on whether the relationship is destiny or just a learning experience in your life. Pray for His guidance in directing your words and actions.
Talk with your boyfriend alone when he doesn't have distractions from family, friends, work or school. Whether you initially contact him in person, via email or text, ask to meet him somewhere quiet to talk over the conflicts. Many conflicts won't just magically disappear, but communication allows you both to see whether the relationship is worth another attempt. Try to keep the "L" word out of your conversations in the beginning. Concentrate on getting his opinions on what he believes the problems are and where he wants the relationship to go. Once he speaks his mind, you can interject your opinions, goals and the boundaries you want in the relationship.
Listen with an open heart and mind. You may have to face the fact that your boyfriend simply isn't ready for a monogamous relationship right now. This doesn't mean he won't be ready at some point in the future. It may be weeks, years or you may have to face the fact that it isn't going to work out. You have to decide if it is realistic to wait for him or if you can settle with being just friends for now.
Respect his feelings and the boundaries he needs. If he says he just isn't ready for a long-term commitment in dating only you, show him that you respect that with your actions. If he agrees you can be friends and talk on the phone or hang out together once a week, don't barrage him with daily texts, emails and phone calls. Give him space. Maintaining the friendship on his terms leaves the door open for his feelings to change in the future.
- Get involved with other Christians in activities that you enjoy. Whether or not the relationship is going to work out with your boyfriend, involving yourself in serving others and enjoying activities without your boyfriend makes you a more interesting and fulfilled person.
Chelsea Fitzgerald covers topics related to family, health, green living and travel. Before her writing career, she worked in the medical field for 21 years. Fitzgerald studied education at the University of Arkansas and University of Memphis.