When you’re an adult, living with your mother can present challenges. You’re probably used to being independent, making your own decisions and doing things your way. Your mother might still treat you like a child, creating tension in the household. Still, you may feel hesitant or even nervous about asking your mom to move out of your house.
Say something positive about your mom, your relationship with her or your experience living with her, if you can. Consider saying something like, “Mom, I’ve enjoyed spending more time with you,” or “Mom, it’s been interesting with you living here.”
Tell her you think she needs to move out. Don’t hint at it or beat around the bush. Be kind but clear. Say something like, “Mom, I think it is time for you to find a place of your own.”
Tell her how soon you want her to move out. If possible, give her a reasonable amount of time to find a new place to live. Say something like, “I’d like to shoot for the end of the month,” or “I think 30 days should be enough time to find a place. What do you think?”
Offer to help your mother find a place of her own if you are able and willing to do that. For instance, you might offer to go with her to look at apartments.
Listen to what your mother has to say when you ask her to move out of your house. She might feel sad or hurt, she might get angry, she might worry about whether or not she can find a place she can afford or she might feel scared about the idea of living alone. Allow her to express her feelings.
- Stay calm but firm when asking your mother to move. Don’t raise your voice and don’t speak in an angry tone, even if she does.
- Choose the right time to discuss moving out with your mother. If possible, bring up the matter when she is calm and when she’s not busy doing something else. Speak to her privately if you think this might be a sensitive issue for her.
- Your mother might not take it well when you ask her to move out of your house. Asking in a calm, assertive, respectful manner makes it more likely she’ll take it well, but doesn’t guarantee it.
Kelly Morris has been making a living as a writer since 2004. She attended the College of Mount St. Joseph with a major in social work and minor in women's studies. Her work has appeared in a number of print publications including Caregivers Home Companion, Midwifery Today and Guide.
Noel Hendrickson/Digital Vision/Getty Images