How to Tell if a Man Is Never Going to Commit to a Marriage

by Sarah Casimong

It can be frustrating waiting for a proposal and a ring, especially if you are not sure about a man’s intentions. Most of the time, hints of a non-committal man come through clearly. Look out for signs that he is not ready or willing to commit to a marriage, so that you do not waste your time.

Keeps His Distance

A man who has trouble committing to a relationship may stay emotionally distant, according to marriage therapist Larry Cappel in the article, "7 Sure Signs of a Commitment-Phobe" on PsychCentral. If you have been dating for a while, but he still keeps you at arm’s length, he may not be willing to commit to marriage. An example of keeping distant is if he has not asked to meet your friends and family, or if he makes excuses and changes the subject whenever you suggest a meeting. He also never offers to introduce you to his own family or even close childhood friends. If he has not confided in you or let you in on his deep thoughts and feelings, this is another sign that he is keeping emotionally distant and may not be willing to commit to a marriage.

Flakes and Cancels

Watch out for signs that he is flaky and unreliable. If you find that he has a tendency to cancel dates or has trouble keeping his promises, he may have a hard time committing to something as permanent and serious as marriage. Although a last-minute cancellation is understandable every now and then, you should be concerned if he cancels often.

Been Burned Before

If he has had his trust shattered in the past, it can have a negative effect on his views on marriage -- whether it was with previous romantic relationships or goes further back to his childhood and family relationships, according to psychologist and psychoanalyst Frances Cohen Praver in “He Just Won’t Commit” on Psychology Today. If he has had his heart broken by an ex, he may find it hard to be as vulnerable and trusting as a marriage relationship requires. Coming from a broken home or growing up and seeing his parents model a dysfunctional relationship can also affect relationships in his adult life, according to counselor David Hawkins in “When the Man in Your Life Can’t Commit: Recognizing the Signs of a Commitment-Phobe and What You Can Do About It.”

Lacks Emotional Maturity

You may sense that he is not interested in settling down and that could be because he may not be emotionally mature enough to see the value of marriage, according to Hawkins. Being addicted to substances such as drugs and alcohol can also have an effect on his emotional maturity. If he has emotional issues, it could get in the way of his commitment to you because marriage will not be his top priority. You will know that he will not commit to a marriage if he has trouble identifying and expressing his feelings.

About the Author

Sarah Casimong is a Vancouver-based writer with a Bachelor's degree in journalism from Kwantlen Polytechnic University. She writes articles on relationships, entertainment and health. Her work can be found in the "Vancouver Observer", "Her Campus" and "Cave Magazine".

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