Meeting your boyfriend's parents is a major milestone in your relationship, it solidifies the idea that you are not just dating and that you hope to be a major component of your boyfriend's life. Telling your boyfriend that you want to meet his parents can be nerve-wracking, since on some levels, his answer can give you an indication of how he feels about you and where he thinks that this relationship is going.
While in comparison, asking to meet your boyfriend's parents may not be as big of a milestone as talking about marriage or children, bringing up this conversation indicates that you are at a certain point in the relationship and meeting his parents is a requirement to move forward. Think about how you want to approach him and what you want to say before bringing the subject up. You can make a special event out of the occasion by arranging for reservations at your favorite nice restaurant, or planning a small weekend getaway.
How to Approach the Subject
Although you may feel anxious by being upfront about your feelings, the most effective means of communication includes both a clear and direct message. You can start the conversation by telling your boyfriend how much you care about him and how much your time spent dating has meant to you, and then state that you want to meet his parents. A statement such as "Ben, I think that these past four months have been amazing, you're an amazing boyfriend and you're so good to my kids. I feel like you are an important part of my life and I want to be the same for you. I think it's time that we meet each other's parents," is clear and direct.
Deciding to Introduce Your Children
As a mom, dating adds additional considerations to your love life that single women may not have to worry about. One such issue involves deciding if you should meet your boyfriend's parents on your own, or with your children. If your boyfriend does not have children of his own, the idea of your boyfriend as a pseudo-father-figure may catch his parents off guard, while if he does have children this may not be as big of a concern to his parents. You may also decide that by meeting his parents first, you can form a relationship with them before introducing them to your children. Either way, discuss this with your boyfriend to get his input on what might be best for your specific situation.
What if he Says "No?"
While you may be ready to meet his parents, your boyfriend may be on a different page. Disagreeing with your request to meet his parents may not necessarily spell doom for your relationship, but it can raise some red flags. If he is comfortable with the idea of meeting your parents, he may just be embarrassed by his parents or worried that they may have unreasonable standards for his dating life. On the other hand, if you find that your boyfriend makes excuses, becomes defensive or avoids the issue of meeting his parents, you may want to consider asking him where he feels your relationship is and where it is going.
Anthony Oster is a licensed professional counselor who earned his Master of Science in counseling psychology at the University of Southern Mississippi. He has served as a writer and lead video editor for a small, South Louisiana-based video production company since 2007. Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company.