While wives are ideally supposed to share everything with their husbands, a wife who is being unfaithful will often go to great lengths to hide her indiscretions. At some point, however, she is likely to inadvertently set off some red flags that a vigilant husband might pick up. If you suspect that your wife may be having an affair, be on the lookout for sudden changes in her appearance and behavior. Though there may be reasonable and benign explanations for certain changes, paying close attention to the common signs of infidelity can help you determine if your suspicions have any basis in reality.
A Shift in How She Treats You
Maybe your wife is not as affectionate as she used to be or is less receptive to your affectionate gestures. Did she go from confiding all of her deepest, darkest secrets to sharing only mundane details about her day and nothing of more substance? Perhaps the shift appears more positive, and you’ve noticed a sudden increase in her affection and attention toward you. If she is distancing herself from you emotionally or physically, it may be because she is investing that energy elsewhere. If she is smothering you with attention and affection that is out of character for her, she may be trying to ease a guilty conscience. Whether it’s for better or worse, any sudden and dramatic change in how your wife treats you could indicate trouble.
A New Look or Wardrobe
Did your wife come back from the salon with a drastic new hairdo? Maybe she decided to upgrade her wardrobe or developed a sudden interest in exercise and dieting. Have you noticed sexy lingerie in her underwear drawer that she hasn't modeled for you? While trying to look good and striving to maintain an active and healthy lifestyle are worthy goals, if these objectives are inconsistent with your wife’s usual interests, then it might suggest that she is trying to impress somebody. It’s possible that your wife is interested in impressing you, but if she is uncharacteristically focused on her appearance, you should keep your eyes peeled for other signs, too.
A Sudden Increase or Decrease in Bedroom Action
The biggest red flags for affairs are usually found in the bedroom. As with all other changes, problems are more easily identified by how radical the change is than by the direction in which things shift. If the frequency and quality of your sex life has taken a sudden nosedive, then your marriage may be in trouble. The same applies, however, if your wife has developed a newfound surge in sexual energy and is giving your libido a run for its money. Any radical deviation from the status quo in the bedroom and beyond could indicate that there may be some cause for concern.
Shifts in Scheduling and Availability
Affairs take time, which is why people who are having them need to find creative ways to explain their absence during certain days and times. Work is the most popular scapegoat. Maybe your wife is suddenly working a lot of overtime at the office and is often coming home late, or there are prolonged periods of time when she is out of reach. Perhaps she started adding a lot more girls’ nights out to her schedule than she used to. If you’ve noticed an abrupt change in your wife’s routine that is causing her to spend considerably less time with you, then it’s possible that she could be up to no good.
New Technology Habits
If your wife is having an affair, her cellphone and computer would probably have some trace of it. Technology is the most likely way that a woman would keep in touch with her lover and make arrangements for any rendezvous. Have you noticed that your wife is on her phone or computer more often than usual? Does she avoid taking calls or speaking on the phone in front of you? Maybe she seems uncomfortable about giving you any access to her phone or computer. If your wife’s technology habits have undergone a sudden and radical change, it’s possible that her loyalties have shifted as well.
Kristina Barroso is a middle school English teacher, published author and freelance writer with experience in a wide range of subjects. She loves writing about parenting, relationships, education and more for publications like The Classroom and WorkingMother.