The inherent nature of cheating is secretive, bur according to relationship expert Peggy Vaughan, conservative estimates of infidelity in marriages are at around 60 percent for men and 40 percent for women. Some estimates are even higher, and that number also increases when you consider couples who aren't yet married. While there's no sure way to tell if your partner is cheating unless he or she comes clean, there are some signs that could indicate an affair.
Sudden Sexual Changes
One of the most common changes that you may notice in a cheating partner is changes in the bedroom. Often someone who is cheating may show a sudden renewed interest in sex or may make an effort, out of guilt, to be a more loving or generous partner. Over time, however, you may notice that your partner is no longer interested in sex at all, even if his or her sex drive was once very high. Keep in mind that this could also be due to other factors, such as medication or stress.
If your partner is being secretive, this may be a sign of infidelity. For example, your spouse may leave the room upon getting a phone call or get nervous if you come into the room when he's checking emails. If your partner is being vague and side-stepping questions about behavior oddities, such as coming home later than normal or spending money in unaccounted ways, it could indicate an affair.
Someone who is cheating may suddenly be in a more relaxed mood around you, when in the past, the smallest disagreement would have led to a fight. When someone feels guilty, they may try to make up for the cheating in their own mind by focusing attention on you and being a more caring partner when they are around. At the same time, a cheating partner often grows more emotionally distant. Although they may put effort into asking you about your day, they don't actually care about your day.
Accusations of Control
It is common for someone who is cheating to accuse the faithful partner of being too controlling. The cheating partner may justify the cheating mentally by criticizing you or making you out to be someone who is smothering in the relationship. Since cheating partners are often secretive, as the affair continues, the faithful partner will likely feel like it is necessary to snoop, which leads to more accusations of control and increased secretiveness, so it is a vicious cycle.
Someone who is cheating may not have felt the need to impress you, since they were already in a secure relationship. If your partner suddenly takes a renewed interest in looking attractive, by wearing nicer clothing, losing weight or spending more time primping, it could indicate an affair.
Allison Boyer has been a content marketing consultant since 2005, and currently runs the food blog The PinterTestKitchen. She was previously the Content Director for New Media Expo, where she helped bloggers and businesses learn about new media. Boyer holds a Bachelor of Arts in English from Elizabethtown College.