What Makes a Marriage Last 50 Years?

by Candice Coleman

Maybe your grandparents were happily married for decades, and you are curious about how to create your own lasting marriage. While there are bumps in the road for every couple, knowing how to weather them could help your marriage last for 50 years. These long-married pairings also have other secrets that help them stay together.

Working on Communication

Couples who stay together in the long term are often effective communicators. Knowing how to calmly share what is bothering you, listening to your partner's perspective even when you do not agree and talking to one another in a respectful manner are keys to healthy, long-lasting marriages, according to TwoofUs.org's article, "Top 10 Pieces of Advice for a Long and Healthy Marriage." Name-calling, frequent criticism and avoiding discussions can wear away a marriage.

The Joys of Novelty

Remember how you used to have a date night every weekend or spend time together fantasizing about dream vacations? Novelty is another element found in marriages that last 50 years and more. If you find your marriage in a rut, looking at upcoming events in your area, taking a recreational class together or going on a mini vacation could banish boredom and help the two of you grow closer, according to researcher Amie M. Gordon, in the "Psychology Today" article, "Is Your Relationship Stuck in a Rut?"

Handling Arguments

Every relationship has them - but a long-lasting relationship can weather arguments and disagreements. Choosing to let the "little stuff" go, apologizing to a partner when you have done something wrong and showing calmness and patience during a disagreement can go a long way, according to John Gottman and Nan Silver, in the "Psychology Today" article, "What Makes Marriage Work?" Denying responsibility, avoiding your partner, ignoring your partner's viewpoint, or going silent in conversations can also contribute to marital problems. Getting professional help from a therapist or counselor can also be beneficial if you and your partner struggle to handle disagreements in a healthy manner.

Getting Help

Over the course of a lifetime, your relationship may go through many stages and feelings. Saying supportive, affirmative things like, "I love you," and "How are you doing?" can encourage closeness between partners, according to TwoofUs.org's article, "Top 10 Pieces of Advice for a Long and Healthy Marriage." Giving small gifts or helping your partner with a task without being asked can also help marriages prosper in the long-term.

About the Author

Candice Coleman worked in the public school system as a middle school and high school substitute teacher. In addition to teaching, she is also a tutor for high school and college students.

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