Many married couples struggle for months or years to determine whether it is finally time for things to officially end in divorce. They cling to their relationship even after it's become extremely negative because they believe things may get better in time, it will help their children or simply because they still have feelings for their spouse. It is important that couples learn to recognize the signs that divorce is the best option in order to avoid further conflict.
Determine the specific reasons you are contemplating divorce. Be honest with yourself about the reasons you are thinking about divorce, no matter how disheartening the reasons. Write the reasons down and reflect upon them for a few days to make sure that they are the actual reasons you want a divorce.
Communicate with your spouse about his feelings about divorce. Consider the pros and cons of divorce during your conversation. If you and your spouse come up with more pros for divorce than cons, it may be time to end your marriage. Make sure that neither of you is speaking in anger by maintaining a calm and mature tone throughout the conversation.
Recognize the patterns that evolve when you and your spouse fight. If your spouse abuses you verbally, physically, mentally or sexually during a fight, understand that it is probably time to end your marriage. Marriage is about respect and love and once abuse enters a marriage, it is almost always over.
Work hard at marriage counseling, but recognize when it is no longer helping or improving your relationship. Listen to your friends, family members or marriage counselor when they tell you that they don't think there is anything more you can do to save your marriage.