Intimacy is something people focus on in the beginning of their relationship, but usually fail to keep going once they’re married. Life can get in the way, which can make intimacy seem less important or difficult to keep up with. But that’s not how it has to be. Intimacy is something that’s simple to nourish if you just follow five easy steps.
It’s The Small Things
One of the easiest ways for spouses to maintain and nourish the intimacy in their relationship is to do one kind or thoughtful thing for one another every day. This can be something that takes five minutes or less of your time, but reminds both partners that they are valued, loved and cared for. Whether it’s putting a little love note in your husband’s lunch, making sure you always get a goodbye kiss or playing his favorite game with him, there are a multitude of ways for you to do small things that make your husband feel great and deepen your intimacy.
That Magic Touch
Intimacy is something most often felt, and one of the greatest ways to deepen the intimacy with your husband is to touch each other. The difference between intimate touch and casual touch has nothing to do with sexuality or sexual expression, and it has everything to do with intention and purpose. Carve out 10 minutes of your day to lie with your husband in bed. Take your time to caress his face and his skin, and really take in what those sensations feel like. If you let your partner do this to you also, it’ll take the intimacy to the next level. This is an act of appreciation for your partner, which enhances your intimacy.
Listen to Him
Listening to your husband is vital for building and nourishing intimacy. When your partner feels heard and understood, he feels appreciated and supported, bringing his emotional walls down and letting you in. Make sure that when you’re showing up for your partner, you’re showing up fully and being present. Really listen to what he has to say, so that your responses are thoughtful and conscious.
Sometimes intimacy is shot in the foot before it can ever take a step in the right direction if you aren’t able to be vulnerable with your husband. Being emotionally vulnerable can be difficult if you’ve been hurt in the past. If this has happened to you, don’t rush it. Start with baby steps. The best way to begin is to share your feelings with your husband. Ask for him to just listen so you can fully share, without feeling rushed, and you can consciously choose your words. This will let him know that you want to share your thoughts and feelings with him, deepening the intimacy.
Speak Your Husband’s Love Language
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five love languages that humans use to communicate with one another. These are words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch and receiving gifts. As a couple, taking the time to learn what love language each of you predominantly speaks will help you bond. This also helps you communicate more clearly, and tells both of you how to appreciate and love the other one best. Every time you or your husband feels loved, cherished, appreciated or valued, your intimacy improves and so does your relationship.