You have found a great guy that you are attracted to, that has the same sense of humor as you, that has the same goals and that you really want to start a meaningful relationship with. All of this sounds perfect, but there is one catch: His best friend is a girl. You may be wondering what you should do. Beings jealous and feeling threatened are natural, especially when you feel like you are in competition with another girl; but believe it or not, you can successfully date a guy whose best friend is a girl.
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you don't have trust, you simply aren't going to have a successful relationship -- whether your guy's best friend is a girl or not. That said, if you are dating a guy who has a girl best friend, the first thing you need to do is trust him. Don't let the ugly green monster show its ugly head. There is a reason why your guy and his girl best friend aren't dating -- and there is a reason why he wants to date you. Trust him and you can have a successful relationship; don't trust him and you won't. Case closed.
Get to Know Her
Don't make up your mind that you don't like your guy's best girlfriend simply because she is a girl. Instead, try getting to know her. Spend some time with them together, and see if she wants to spend some bonding time alone with you. Once you get to know her, you may discover that she really is a cool chick and see exactly why she is your guy's best friend.
You probably have a female best friend yourself, and there are obviously several qualities about her that you love. Those very qualities are likely why your guy has a girl best friend, too. Girls are great best friend material, dating and relationship coach Tracey Steinberg tells "Cosmopolitan" magazine. They are caring, compassionate and kind -- and men can often have deeper and more meaningful relationships with them than they can with other men. So, consider that as food for thought and maybe you'll have a better understanding of why your guy has a girl best friend.
It's normal to feel jealous. After all, your guy is getting attention from another girl, and that other girl knows a lot about him. If you do find yourself feeling uncomfortable, it is okay to ask questions. In fact, it's better to ask questions then it is to make assumptions. Your guy will likely be able to answer your questions and make you feel more at ease about the situation.
Look for Signs He's Into You
If you are feeling insecure about the status of your relationship, look for signs that indicate that your guy is into you. If he makes eye contact with you, attentively listens to you, does things to get your attention and seems giddy and nervous around you, chances are that he is really into you. If he is showing signs that he is into you, put your worries about his relationship with his female best friend at bay and instead concentrate on your relationship with him.
Notice Questionable Signs
If you really are worried that your guy is having a relationship that goes beyond friendship with his gal pal, consider the signs that might indicate such. If your guy is secretive about his relationship with his best lady friend, he doesn't seem comfortable talking about his relationship with her, he drops everything to assist her, he is in constant contact with her day and night or he seems distant from you, there is a chance that his friendship with this gal may be more. If you have a sense that this is the case, share your feelings and the reasons why you are concerned.
Jack John is a trained and experienced educator. He holds a Bachelor of Arts in elementary education and a Master of Science in literacy education from LIU. He has been working since 2001 as a classroom teacher and one-to-one tutor, and writing since 2008.
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