Whether you are breaking off a friendship gone awry or asking a jilted ex-lover to respect your privacy, you can tactfully cut a girl out of your life by giving her direct instructions, clearly stating your intentions and having the discipline to avoid unnecessarily contacting her. While you cannot be expect to predict her reaction to your request, how you handle yourself during and after cutting ties with a girl can determine the level of success you will have in keeping her out of your life.
Be upfront with the girl you wish to cut out of your life and clearly state that you no longer wish to remain in contact with her.
Cut every feasible tie to this girl that you can, including deleting her phone number, unfriending her on Facebook and blocking her Twitter feed. If you share mutual acquaintances or friends, you may not be able to cut ties completely. When faced with this situation, you must decide if or how you will approach her. Giving her a simple "Hello," then diverting your attention to another person or activity is an appropriate way to handle this scenario.
Ask her to respect your wishes and not to contact you for any reason. If necessary, consider ignoring her calls or blocking her number.
Do not contact her for any reason. While this may seem self-explanatory, continuing to call, text or flirt with this girl sends mixed signals, indicating that you may still be interested in maintaining a friendship or relationship with her.
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: A Qualitative Analysis of On-Again/Off-Again Romantic Relationships: “It’s Up and Down, All Around”
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: Factors Associated With Distress Following the Breakup of a Close Relationship
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: Predicting Unwanted Pursuit: Attachment, Relationship Satisfaction, Relationship Alternatives, and Break-up Distress
- In the event that you do have to interact with this girl occasionally, remain amicable and calm during each of your encounters. Being respectful will make these occasional encounters more bearable and ultimately you will come out looking like the better person in the event that she does not choose to reciprocate that respect.
- Use "I" statements, such as "I don't think our relationship is going in the right direction," versus "You" statements such as "You make me miserable," to avoid sounding as if you are placing blame on her for your decision.
- There is a fine line between attention-seeking and the potential for stalking. If at any time you feel that this girl's attempts to contact you display a potential harm to herself, yourself or others, contact your local authorities to report this behavior.
Anthony Oster is a licensed professional counselor who earned his Master of Science in counseling psychology at the University of Southern Mississippi. He has served as a writer and lead video editor for a small, South Louisiana-based video production company since 2007. Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company.