Date night can keep your marriage alive and vibrant, maintaining the same energy you had before you married, according to marriage experts David and Claudia Arp in “10 Great Dates to Energize Your Marriage.” Making your spouse feel special can ignite a romantic spark that increases communication, develops interests you can share and help you identify goals outside your kids or your careers, write the Arps.
Let your spouse know that he is a priority to you and that you are willing to tune out the entire world for the night. If you have kids, an activity or event outside the house is ideal, or hire a sitter in-house for this. Show him that you have marked the time off on your calendar, suggest the Arps. Let him hear you tell others that nothing will derail your plans for spending the evening together because he is just too important to you. He can’t resist feeling special when you make it clear that your relationship with him is your top priority.
Anticipation is the secret ingredient we all long for. You can keep the destination and activities a secret and then and drop little hints. Tell her you can’t wait to get her alone and in an awesome location for the event. Take her shopping for something new and exciting to wear, suggest the Arps in “52 Dates for You and Your Mate.” Send her a bouquet mix of her favorite flowers or give her a spa day to pamper her and so she will be rested. Leave love notes in her purse and on her pillow, promising her that the date will soon be here.
Focus your full attention on your spouse when you are on the date. Turn off your cell phones and avoid talking about work, kids, bills or other distracting topics, write the Arps. Ignore the sexy waitstaff at your table or the other people around you. If you’re staying home, serve his favorite meal with wine at a table lit only by two chandelier candles, accompanied by his favorite song, and then dance where no one will interrupt, suggests Jim Burns in the article, “Make Your Spouse Feel Special Again.” Play games or do a jigsaw puzzle together. Laugh as you talk together. Flirt shamelessly and with great enthusiasm.
Let your spouse know that she inspires great passion and desire. Touch her in the ways she loves and invite her to reciprocate. Look into her eyes and tell her she has never looked more attractive or sexy. Whisper what you want to do with her before the night is over, such as a massage or cuddling by the fire. Promise that you will make the date one she will remember fondly. Tell her that you love her more now than ever and that no one has ever sparked such desire and passion in your life.