It's perfectly normal for your sex life to go through highs and lows throughout the course of your marriage. Your libidos won't always be in sync, and external pressures such as children, work and finances can all take priority over physical intimacy. If your husband hasn't been in the mood lately, a few simple steps will hopefully be enough to get him interested again.
The Bigger Picture
Intimacy doesn't have to be restricted to the bedroom. Consider how you treat your husband during the course of a typical day. If you want him to get in the mood for sex, you might have to address your behavior. Give him plenty of affection without having sex as the ultimate goal. Show him how much you care about him by lavishing him with kisses, cuddles and verbal appreciation.
Catch His Attention
It may only take some sexy lingerie to get your husband in the mood. Men are visually stimulated, says psychologist Philip "Dr. Phil" McGraw in "Dr. Phil's 'Man-ual' -- Men Are Hunters" for "O, The Oprah Magazine." Treat yourself -- and him -- to a saucy little outfit and reveal it at an unexpected moment. Or wear lacy stockings underneath your robe and let him catch a glimpse of them as you walk across the room. Give him a taste of what's to come and he may be chasing you into the bedroom.
Spice It Up
If your sex life has become a little stale, suggest trying something new to spice it up. Perhaps you want to try a new sexual position or technique. Ask your husband if there's anything he'd like to do. If you don't normally talk about your sexual fantasies, this could be the perfect way to get him in the mood. If you have children and busy work schedules, finding the time and energy for sex may be the problem. Arrange a baby sitter, clear your schedules and book a night away in a romantic hotel to help you get the spark back into your marriage.
It May Be Nothing Personal
You may automatically assume that your husband no longer desires you because he's not showing any interest in sex. However, you should consider the possibility that it has nothing to do with you, advices relationship therapist Michele Weiner-Davis in the article "Nine Tips for the Spouse With a Higher Sex Drive" for "Psychology Today." It may be difficult not to feel rejected if your husband doesn't appear to want to get intimate with you, but stress, depression and feelings of inadequacy may be the cause behind his lack of interest.
C. Giles is a writer with an MA (Hons) in English literature and a post-graduate diploma in law. Her work has been published in several publications, both online and offline, including "The Herald," "The Big Issue" and "Daily Record."
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