The Ten Commandments of Human Relations

by Allison Horky

The Ten Commandments of Human Relations are guidelines for interacting with people in a kind and considerate manner. These 10 tips speak to the importance of genuine human interactions. When in group situations, conflict can create tension, but keeping in mind these tips can help de-escalate a conflict. Despite the name, these tips for interpersonal communication are not linked to Christianity's Ten Commandments.

Speak to People

The first commandment reminds you to greet each person you encounter. Looking the person in the eye as you talk to him will convey genuine interest.

Smile at People

Smiling communicates interest in the conversation. Even over the phone, people can tell if you are engaged with the topic. Smiling also shows you understand what the person is saying.

Call People by Name

Say a person's name often and correctly, especially when you first meet her. Repeating the name will help with linking the person's name to her face.

Be Friendly and Helpful

If a friend is in need, try to help him as much as possible. He will appreciate your effort. If you are not sure what he needs, ask what you can do for him. This is a better way of assessing needs than guessing.

Be Cordial

Enjoy the work that you are doing and the people you are helping. Convey warmth in your actions. Especially if a person is in a stressful situation, she can sense your concern and motivation to help.

Be Genuinely Interested in People

All people have knowledge to offer you that you might not have. Be interested in what they share. Ask questions. Tell them you appreciate what they are sharing.

Be Generous with Praise

Give compliments and affirmations to members of your group and your friends. Give compliments when in front of other friends or group members. This sets a good example and models ideal behavior. Offer critiques in a private setting.

Be Considerate

Listen to all sides of the story in a conflict. Emotions often make saying and admitting the truth difficult. Give a person more time if he is not ready to talk about the conflict.

Be Alert

Clue into the dynamics of your friends and within a group. Be alert to interactions and places where conflict might arise. Sense body language and read what the person is saying through body position. For example, if she is sitting with her arms crossed and head down, she might be concerned, sad or angry.

Have a Good Sense of Humor

Humility is a sign of a good leader. Learn from mistakes and rejoice in success. Be patient with conflict. If you are unsure about how to handle the situation, ask another member for his input. The group will appreciate you for owning up to your uncertainty.

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