Some married couples who cannot seem to work out their differences choose to get a divorce. Whether both partners are aware or not, sometimes it is the responsibility of one to tell the other that it is time to divorce. As difficult as this may seem, there are guidelines and things to be considered if you are thinking about going through with this process.
Find a private location and be sure you will have plenty of time alone. Send the kids to a caretaker.
Prepare for all responses. Some people will try to lay guilt upon the other, attempt verbal abuse, promise to change or become very angry.
Know what you're going to say. Try to use "I" statements and not "you" statements as much as possible so he doesn't feel you're placing the blame on him.
Take him to a public place to tell him. An uncrowded public place like a restaurant or public beach may work. This will help him respond in a restrained and rational fashion.
Assure your spouse that he is still a permanent part of your child's life and that it's important to you that it stay that way.
Discuss your children with your spouse. You want to make sure that both parents know not to fight in front of the children or to belittle the other in front of them. Another thing to possibly discuss is how each of you will divide up your time with the children. Be sure this time is equally split between both parents.
Part ways. After the conversation, it is best for most couples to physically part so they have time to reflect and think about the decisions ahead of them.
- Be sure you are both drug and alcohol free at the time you tell your spouse, if at all possible.
- Try to tell your spouse during the day, maybe in the morning. This will allow you to spend the day away from each other and help relieve the tension.
- When discussing children, be sure to inquire about when and how you plan on talking to your children.
- Going into the conversation angry may cause your spouse to be hostile or get angry.
- When speaking to your spouse, drain your anger before you begin or it will seep into your conversation.