Communicate respectfully with your adult children. After many years of making decisions and providing authoritarian guidance, you might find it difficult to relinquish your parental role for the more mature relationship of parent-adult child. Reflective listening is your best ally. Adult children are more likely to communicate with you when they realize you will not jump in to give advice or scold. As a sounding board, you can provide your child an opportunity to explore personal resources and ideas for problem solving.

Be a cheerleader. As a parent, you welcome good news and positive anecdotes about your adult child's successes. Offer sincere praise. Sometimes your adult child will share small victories with you - because of the affectionate relationship between you - that might be lost on a friend or someone who is not as emotionally attached.

Promote a relationship of understanding and freedom from unnecessary obligation. Invite your children to celebrate holidays and other special events with you, but give them room to decline without fear of hurting your feelings. Adult children, especially when married or seriously involved with someone, are pulled in different directions. Negotiating where to go for Thanksgiving dinner can create conflict for your child with a significant other. The purpose of family gatherings is to maintain bonds. Through your flexibility, you can help strengthen these bonds.

Offer suggestions when asked. With a basis of mutual respect, your adult child may ask for advice based on your experiences and knowledge. Using restraint in giving unsolicited suggestions is especially important when the grandchildren come along. Adult children might not wish to parent the same way that you did.