When most people think of jealousy in a relationship, they probably think of one person being jealous by the partner's friendship with an attractive person, for example. However, competition and jealousy within a relationship is also a common possibility, too. If you suspect that your boyfriend is jealous of you and is always trying to compete with you and one-up you, you may be correct.
If your boyfriend always feels the need to win every argument you have, no matter how small or petty it is, he might be competitive and jealous towards you. Whether it is about who last took out the trash or even a bigger issue such as who makes more sacrifices for the relationship, always needing to have the last word and "win" an argument points to unhealthy relationship competition.
If your boyfriend is so caught up in what you are doing with your life that he loses focus of his own goals, he is displaying signs of jealousy and intense competition with you. For example, if he is upset that you have a strong circle of close-knit friends and he doesn't, his jealousy is actually harming his own well-being, and doing nothing to improve his own situation.
Enforcing false equality also can point towards jealousy in a relationship. If your boyfriend is jealous that you get along well with your mother to the point that he tries to undermine your relationship with her, his competition with you is excessive and toxic. He may be trying to enforce fake "equality" in your relationship. If he doesn't have a good relationship with his mother, he may not want you to have one with yours, either.
If your boyfriend suddenly clams up or acts upset at any sign that you are succeeding in life, especially at work, then he is seriously jealous of you. For instance, if you got a big pay raise at work and he doesn't acknowledge it or even belittles your accomplishment, he could be jealous and feel like you are "beating" him somehow. He might say something like, "Gee. I wonder why they chose you. That other girl, Tanya, does her job great."
If you get the sense that your boyfriend is pleased and happy when you fail at something, then you should seriously consider reevaluating your relationship with him. Successful relationships are about teamwork; jealousy and competition are counterproductive and destructive to a relationship.
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Lars Tramilton has been writing professionally since 2007. His work has appeared in a variety of online publications, including CareerWorkstation. Tramilton received a bachelor's degree with a focus on elementary education from Kean University.