Talk shows spend many hours discussing codependency, book stores have shelves lined with books about codependency. But what is codependency and how do we recognize if we are codependent. Codependency is a term used to describe people involved with addicts. It describes behavior where buy a codependent partner enables, make excuses, and allows an addict to continue with their hurtful behavior. In many case the codependent person may be an addict themselves. They usually make excuses for their partner's behavior, minimize or rationalize this behavior. They are also in most cases afraid to address the situation. Hopefully this article will give you some insight into whether you have codependent tendencies.
First, You tend to minimize your partners erratic and irrational behavior. You use phrases like other people act the same way and it isn't so bad. You allow them to emotional abuse you and try to justify why they do it.
Second, you tend to hide this destructive undesirable behavior from others. You may be ashamed by how your partner is treating you, but at the same time you are concerned about protecting your partner's reputation.
Third, you make excuses for your partner. You cover up for appointments they didn't keep or events they didn't attend. You take responsibility for their actions when they should be responsible themselves.
Fourth, you are willing to allow them to continue with this less than desirable behavior toward you and others, rather than confront the situation for fear of losing them, and your inability to live without them.
Lastly, you have convinced yourself, that your partner can not live without you. You are willing to sacrifice your happiness and well being for the sake of theirs.