How to Communicate Effectively With Men

by S. Grey ; Updated June 13, 2017

Woman talking to a male business partner in an office.

John Rowley/Digital Vision/Getty Images

Men value communication that is direct but that also has a purpose. Effective communication with men incorporates subtle qualities that meets them where they are. Keeping these ideas and others in mind when you talk will get you both on the same page. As a result, you can become a more successful communicator with men and potentially with others.

Speak with confidence. To effectively talk with men, adopt elements of their communication style. Men typically adopt assertive styles of communication, lending to images of power and status for them. Stand tall with a straight posture, maintaining eye contact with him. Use language that asserts your thoughts and feelings rather than adopting passive styles of communication. Adding these elements to your speech show that you are willing to approach men at their level while still asserting your own power.

Get to the point. Men more often use direct modes of communication, reducing the fluff in what they say. Be straightforward with him to communicate efficiently. Tell him exactly what you are talking about without providing extensive detail. Men are more likely to want the communication to be short and sweet rather than long and drawn out.

Honor his sense of autonomy. To men, independence is a virtue. Use a style of communication that respects their identity as men and allows them to maintain a sense of independence. Give them choices instead of forcing them to adopt a position. Respecting men's sense of independence is more likely to get them on board with you, increasing the effectiveness of your communication.

Work with him to create a solution. Men value problem-solving and are highly goal-oriented in their communication. Include them in any problem-solving you need to do to help them feel important. By including them in helping you reach a solution, you invite men into your thought process. This process becomes an important tool that works with men's value of purpose-driven communication, thus making you a more efficient communicator.


  • Pick the right time to communicate. Adopting a masculine communication style will have much less impact if you do not approach men at the right moment. Choose times when they are able to listen, concentrate and process with you. Rushing them will limit the power of your new communication style and likely invalidate their feelings.

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About the Author

S. Grey has a Master of Science in counseling psychology from the University of Central Arkansas. He is also pursuing a PhD and has a love for psychology, comic books and social justice. He has been published in a text on social psychology and regularly presents research at regional psychology conferences.