Relationships take work, though there are times they fail and we don’t always know why. Communication can break down between a family member, friend or lover. Sometimes we can slight someone without realizing it. When someone stops talking to you, there is usually a cause behind it. Though the end in communication may not seem reasonable, you have to respect the other person’s wishes.
How You May Have Contributed to a Break Up
Think back to your own behavior. Did you inadvertently say something that hurt the person? Sometimes we can make a comment that seems innocent, but has a much stronger effect on the person than we imagined. Have you come on too strong? If you are dating and you became serious too quickly, a person may not be ready for a commitment. Were you a good friend? Analyze your relationship. If you rarely argued, repressed feelings could lead to a break up. Constant arguing can become overwhelming and cause someone to break off communication.
Emotions and Change.
Does the person have any serious emotional or health problems? Depression can cause a person to cut off communication with friends and relatives. Some people may be afraid of emotional involvement and leave when a relationship gets too serious. People change and grow apart. This happens as people grow up and develop new interests. In a dating situation, it is a sad fact of life that someone may be using you or cheating on you. In this case, you are better off without them. If you have trust issues, take stock of your relationship and decide if it is worth pursuing.
Sometimes people mistakenly believe that they are doing you a favor by not being upfront. If they have met someone else, or feel that they no longer have anything in common with you, they may try to spare your feelings by cutting off contact. Embarrassment is another reason people stop talking to someone. If they have done something that they feel they are being judged for, they will become distant. If you are not open minded, they may have secrets that they do not wish to share with you. For example, they may be gay and you have made homophobic comments in the past.
How To Reach Out
Email or write the person if they won’t talk to you on the phone. Express your sadness, and ask if you did something that hurt or offended them. If there is no response, don’t push it. Let the other person reach out to you. Be patient and keep busy. Eventually, they may come around or contact you. Welcome them back, discuss your problems and practice forgiveness. Give yourself a break. Sometimes it is the other person’s problem. Either they are not skilled at communicating or they are doing something that they don’t want you to know about, like seeing someone else. They may be involved in drugs or a lifestyle that you may not approve of. It is best to let it go and not blame yourself. Count on the support of your friends and family. There are people in your life who will never abandon you. Relationships are fluid and imperfect. Let yourself feel sadness and grieve your loss.
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Pamela Stewart began writing in 1994. Her articles have appeared in North American newspapers and magazines such as "Now Magazine" and the "Georgina Advocate." Stewart has written for educational publications such as the "American Society for Industrial Security Protection of Assets Manual.” Her first book of fiction was published in 2008. She studied creative writing at Ryerson University.