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If you have ever wondered if your boyfriend cares more about himself than he cares about you, you may be dating a narcissist. This type of relationship can make you question your sanity, since you will probably spend a lot of time wondering if your interactions are normal. Regardless of how much you may care about him, a true narcissist may struggle to develop genuine feelings for others. If you suspect that your boyfriend possesses the tell-tale traits, you may want to reevaluate your future together.
He's Really Full of Himself
From time to time, everyone brags about their achievements. However, if your boyfriend is a narcissist, you will have already noticed his tendency to go to extremes. Narcissists often believe that they possess special qualities and, therefore, have a greater potential for success than the average person. As a result, they feel compelled to be the best at everything they do, even if it comes at the expense of others.
His Needs Come First
Narcissists typically want things to be done in a way that benefits them. Their arrogance and self-entitlement will always come before a partner's needs, which, unfortunately, can become a serious issue in a relationship. Whether it's picking a restaurant, choosing a movie or deciding on an apartment, they will expect a partner to go along with whatever they want. As published in the "Journal of Research in Personality" in October 2013, Daniel N. Jones discovered that narcissists are even willing to gamble away other people's money but will not risk any of their own. Some people can learn to be okay with this type of behavior -- but, if you like having an opinion, this could be very difficult.
He Blames You for Everything
When it comes to disagreements, narcissists will go to great lengths to avoid taking responsibility for their own behavior, and they definitely will struggle to apologize for any wrongdoing. In fact, narcissists may view admitting mistakes as a threat to their ego. Therefore, when arguments do occur, regardless of who is at fault, he will place the blame squarely on your shoulders. No matter how reasonable you are when you try to discuss your issues, he will find a way to make the problems all about you.
He Lacks Empathy
A narcissistic romantic partner may totally lack empathy for others. It can be so jarring that most people cannot believe a person can have so little emotion. A narcissist's partner may blame herself for not being good enough to have earned the narcissist's love and affection, note Finnish researchers in a September 2011 article published in the "International Journal of Research Studies in Psychology." Ultimately, this lack of an emotional connection could be too much for any couple to survive.
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: You Probably Think This Paper's About You: Narcissists' Perceptions of Their Personality and Reputation
- Journal of Research in Personality: What's Mine Is Mine and What's Yours is Mine: Psychopathy, Narcissism, and Other People's Money
- Social Psychological and Personality Science: Different Provocations Trigger Aggression in Narcissists and Psychopaths
- International Journal of Research Studies in Psychology: An Intimate Relationship in the Shadow of Narcissism: What Is It Like to Live With a Narcissistic Spouse?
Jeanne Dupuis is a writer specializing in mental health, sports, entertainment and video games. She holds a Master of Science in psychology from Capella University and a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Athabasca University.
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