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Long before any hardcore evidence, a woman often knows in her intuitive gut something isn’t right with her relationship. It might be as insignificant as observing a new, dreamy look in his eyes, but however subtle the innuendo, you’ve become deeply troubled by the possibility he’s cheating on you. Apart from intuition, watch for physical signs to gain clarity. Spotting these signs doesn’t necessarily imply cheating, but it can signal the need for a serious conversation with your man.
Sneaky Phone and Internet Tactics
Sneaky or unusual phone mannerisms are an infidelity red flag. Perpetually checking his voice mail messages privately, leaving the phone off when he’s home or being ultra paranoid about someone else using his phone may indicate he’s hiding something or someone. Watch for signs such as deleted call or text history, changes in where the phone bill is sent, additional or new cell phones and new phone numbers that appear in his contact list or caller ID, says True U. Surreptitious Internet use also is suspect behavior.
Sudden and Total Makeover
Men, as a rule, don’t usually go for makeovers. If he’s suddenly recreated himself complete with new hairstyle and fresh wardrobe, you might simply wonder what prompted this conduct. Alone, that may not be troublesome. But relationship warning signs begin if he’s also developed a host of novel, exclusionary interests that keep him away from home excessively. Troubling new mannerisms also include showering when he hits the door each night, and keeping changes of clothes in his car or office.
Disturbing Little Details
Catching a cheater frequently means you have to resort to detective work. Try to catch a whiff of foreign perfume when he comes home. Look for hints of makeup on his collar and unexplained condoms or male enhancement products. Watch for unusual purchases or items that appear in your home, as these may actually be gifts from the other woman. Sift through the trash for receipts and see if he’s dining out or buying drinks at places or times he didn’t tell you about. Check the ashtray in his car for cigarette butts that aren’t his or your brand.
Missing In Action
Sometimes it’s missing time, disappearing cash or unexplained absences that give away a cheater. Be proactive to find these details. Call his office number, not his cell, when he tells you he’s working late. If he always falls off the face of the earth at noon and later claims he was in a meeting, drop in unexpectedly to bring him lunch. If money is coming up missing in your budget, it could be because he's wining and dining another female. Track cash flow changes and credit card purchases.
Documentation as Proof
Without proof of indiscretions, inherently, cheaters will audaciously lie. Therefore, finding physical evidence is imperative. “The more diligently you look, the more telltale signs you’re likely to find,” says Ruth Houston, author of “Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs.” Keep a journal of odd behavior and physical signs you find can be a helpful bit of documentation, as well. Emotions run high when you suspect your man is cheating. Don’t rely on memory alone.
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Leanne Coffman has worked since 2004 as a writer, consultant and expert witness for litigation. She facilitates training programs for management and staff of international hospitals and national companies in physical and technical security, emergency procedures, disaster response, workplace and fire safety and OSHA/HSE compliance. Coffman is a licensed training provider for the American Red Cross and Subject Matter Expert for multiple sources.
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