Cursing has lost a lot of the stigma that it used to have -- it has become part of normal conversation for many people. However, cursing takes a different tone when it is directed at a partner or loved one during casual conversation or an argument. Your partner should treat you, above all other people, as someone special. What does it mean when he curses at you? It should make you stop and think, “What the ?#@* is going on?”

Cursing when you hit your thumb with a hammer is understandable, but when arguing with someone you love, it shouldn't be tolerated. The overriding emotion, in spite of when you have crashed the car or burned dinner, should be concern and love for you. Even at our worst, we should be conscious of what we say to the people we love. When your partner curses at you, it shows a lack of respect and concern. He is merely thinking of the momentary expression of anger without concern of the long-term effects on your psyche.

We all get frustrated. As children we might fall to the ground and kick our feet but as adults, we have to control our emotions and learn to stop ourselves and handle disagreements in more controlled manners. Cursing at our partners during moments of frustration is the adult equivalent of a child’s temper tantrum, and exhibits her lack of maturity. Perhaps next time you go out to dinner you should consider Chuck E. Cheese? A mature person knows when to walk away, while an immature person will relieve his frustration by cursing at his partner.

When your partner reduces an argument into a curse fest meant to diminish your self-esteem and divert the discussion, he shows that he doesn’t have the words he needs to express himself. As you sit there calmly listening to him barrage you with a variety of sailor-like slurs, you must feel a little sorry for the lack of education they received. Perhaps you could recommend some online classes to help boost his literacy? Maybe a “Word of the Day” calendar for Christmas?

When a partner curses you, whether it is just as you walk through a room or during an argument, or when he talks about you to friends, it’s a sign of disrespect and a red flag. It is the first sign to you that your partner thinks of you as less than you, and that your feelings will always come in second, if they are considered at all. If this is happening at the beginning of a relationship, life will only go downhill and could escalate to more verbal abuse and violence. It is time to move along and find someone that will treat you like the treasure you are.