Commitment is a huge part of a relationship; it sets the precedent that the relationship is exclusive. It's important to know where you stand on the subject of commitment before you take the relationship any further or walk away. If the man you're dating is someone with whom you'd like to be committed, then the first step is obviously to have a serious conversation with him. Then, make a decision and stick to it.
Reasons Men Won't Commitment
Typically the top five reasons why a man won't commit are:
- He's not over his last relationship and he's afraid of getting his heart broken.
- He doesn't want the responsibility of a commitment.
- He's seeing someone else simultaneously.
- He's just not that into you.
- He only wants sex.
Most of these "reasons" are just excuses, except 3 and 5, which he most likely won't admit to if he wants to continue playing the field. Aside from those two reasons, this man might have commitment potential.
How To Get A Commitment
George Weinberg, a clinical psychologist and author of "Why Men Won't Commit," says men consider women to be "good commitment material" when they give a man the sense that he can keep his freedom. Make sure he still has time to hang out with the guys and be easy about the time he spends away from you. Weinberg also suggests listening to your man without giving advice or criticizing him, making it easy for him to confide in you. You can make him feel special by showing him you love him just the way he is, instead of loving him for his net worth, so avoid any questions such as, "What kind of car do you drive?"
Dating Without Commitment
If you want to continue seeing a guy after he's expressed his stance on commitment, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy his company or a night out for dinner and a movie. Just make sure that you're ready for dating without any strings attached. Many women swear they'll be fine with that idea, but women are wired differently than men and inevitably develop feelings for the guy over time. Some women mistakenly believe they can change a man's mind about commitment, and it never ends well. If he's not interested in a committed relationship now, he won't be after a few more dates.
It's important to know what your non-negotiables are in a relationship and to stick to them. If you can't do without commitment in your relationship and the man you're dating has vehemently refused to commit, then it's time to move on. The worst thing you can do is waste your time and love on someone that doesn't appreciate it. There are plenty of single men out there who value commitment in a relationship.
Kimberly Liby has been a content writer and editor since 2006, with articles in "944" magazine. She has written on a range of topics including cooking, health, current events, philosophy, psychology, career, education, writing and editing. Liby holds a Bachelor of Arts in English literature with a writing minor from Arizona State University, and a Master of Science in psychology from the University of Phoenix.