How to Tell if He Wants to Marry You

Holding hands


Men Who Are Ready to Marry Behave Differently Than Boyfriends Do

People marry for all sorts of reasons, but the most popular and enduring reason is still the desire of two people to build a life together. Since the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s removed the social taboo of being intimately involved without marriage, it can be confusing as to whether your man is truly committed or just passing time. It's not possible to read your boyfriend's mind, but his behavior can give you a clear indication of what he's thinking if you know what to look for.

He Involves You in His Daily Life

A boyfriend tends to see you as the icing on the cake that is his daily life. You're great and wonderful and fun and all that, but not strictly necessary. A man who wants to marry you knows that you are the cake. He looks forward to time spent with you, and when he's with you, he's more likely than not to give you his full attention when appropriate. That doesn't mean he's clingy or controlling; just that time with you is a priority, not something he shoehorns into his schedule just to keep the peace.

He Invites You Into His Circle of Family and Friends

A guy who is not committed may bring you to occasional events when his friends and family are present, such as weddings, birthdays or holidays, while a man with marriage on his mind is more likely to integrate you into his life with those friends and family members. He may bring you along when he's dropping off groceries for an elderly relative or helping a friend move. He talks to you about the people closest to him and makes it clear that he also shares news and stories about you with them.

He Talks About the Future

We all talk about the future and wonder about our place in it from time to time, so in this case, what is most important is how your man talks about it. If he's got the entire thing mapped out, then he's not actually looking for a partner; he's decided that it's time to find a wife to go with his job and his home and his 401(k) and his car. A man who wants to build a life with you, specifically, will talk about the future in a more exploratory way. He wants to figure out how and where you will fit into it together, rather than how he fits on his own with you trailing along behind him.

He Has a Healthy Attitude Toward Children

A man who wants to marry you sees you and your children, if you have any, as the package deal that you are. He looks forward to seeing them, can handle them when they ‒ and he ‒ are not at their best. He includes them in his family life. If he also has children, he makes sure that the kids interact, and he treats all of them the same. If you don't have children yet, then he explores the idea rather than stating flatly that he does or does not want them. Whether he wants them is not the point because many couples have long and satisfying marriages without children. What matters is that he understands and accepts that the decision must be made together in total agreement.