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Weddings often become focused solely on the bride and groom. In most circumstances, this is acceptable and encouraged; but in a marriage where one or both people already have kids, it could be a detriment. Focusing only on yourselves can cause your children to resent the impending nuptials. Invite the kids into your wedding ceremony and give each child a unique role to fulfill.
Ask the stepchildren for help planning the wedding. Young children can help you pick out decorations. Teenage stepchildren can help you plan logistics, such as assigning roles to different people in the wedding party.
Take the girls to get their hair and nails done with you before the wedding. Include all the female step kids, to build unity among siblings, and to stamp out any suspicion of favoritism among the children.
Add a vow to the stepchildren, in addition to the new spouse. It can be general, like vowing to love and cherish them; or specific, like vowing to teach them to learn certain skills or achieve specific goals.
Invite the stepchildren to say a vow of their own. Ask them to write it out beforehand and read it after you say your vow to them.
Give the bride, groom and each of the children a container holding a different color of sand. Let everyone pour their color into a larger, decorative container at the same time.