Keogh describes his experience on a first date after the death of his wife, saying that "The first time I went to dinner with another woman, I felt like I was cheating on my late wife. As we entered the restaurant, I was filled with feelings of guilt and betrayal." Keogh notes that it took five dates before the feelings of guilt subsided. If feelings of guilt are overwhelming when out with a new partner, it could mean that you are not yet ready to date again.

Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., professor of sociology at the University of Washington and author of the article "Looking to Find New Love?" at AARP.org, suggests that those who are still grieving the loss of a spouse are not yet prepared to date. A partner still distraught by grief may latch on to a new relationship prematurely out of desperation for love and physical contact. She may spend a lot of time talking about her late spouse or making comparisons between the new partner and her husband. Keogh agrees, suggesting that therapy may be a better alternative to embarking on a new relationship, if grief is severe.

In the "Psychology Today" article "Love After Death: The Widow's Romantic Predicaments," Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D., professor of philosophy at the University of Haifa, suggests that widows and widowers may face stigma and criticism from family and friends when dating someone new. You may be judged for dating too soon -- and your new partner may be given the cold shoulder. Ben-Zeév notes that the spouse left behind is often in the unique position of still loving the lost partner but also wanting a new relationship. The ability to both "let go and hold on" comes at different times for everyone, and you need to be strong enough to stand up to those around you who pass judgment.

If the loss of a spouse is due to divorce rather than death, you may still be coping with bitterness and anger towards your former partner -- particularly if the split was not amicable. Dating too soon after this type of loss is a recipe for disaster, notes Schwartz. If the partnership ended in abandonment, you may also fear getting close to someone new. Losing a partner to divorce can be just as traumatic as losing someone to death -- without the same level of support from family and friends. Make your emotional stability priority -- over and above any new dating opportunities.