The decision to have another baby is one partners should agree on, according to licensed clinical psychologist Willard F. Harley Jr., Ph.D., in the article “Should We Have Children” on his Marriage Builders website. If your husband doesn’t agree with you at this moment, you can try to persuade him to see things your way with various arguments or strategies.
Determine His Reasoning
If your husband isn’t on board with trying to get pregnant, ask him why he doesn’t want another baby, suggests Dr. Harley. Listen to his thoughts without argument. Once you understand his reasons, add yours to the mix. Brainstorm ways to reach an agreement in which you both get what you want. Perhaps he wants to wait until he is more secure in his career, or he might feel that you need a larger house before adding another child. If he isn’t sure the two of you can handle another child, agree to babysit for one of your friends, suggests Dr. Harley. The trial addition could enlighten both of you about your readiness for a new baby.
No Only Child
Perhaps you are concerned about your child being an only child. Talk to your husband about the reasons why you want your youngster to have a sibling -- maybe you want your child to have a playmate and learn social skills. You might refer him to a 2004 study in the “Journal of Marriage and Family” titled “Playing Well with Others in Kindergarten: The Benefit of Siblings at Home,” which concluded that kids with one or more siblings learn better conflict resolution and negotiation skills. Conducted by Douglas B. Downey of Ohio State University's Department of Sociology, and Dennis J. Condron, the study also revealed that siblings were better at making and keeping friends, more tolerant of differences, and more empathetic; it also showed that siblings learned to positively express their feelings.
Finances are a large concern when adding another child to your family, but there are ways to reduce the expense. If your first child has outgrown the baby stuff, you can probably reuse many of those items, such as the crib, infant seat and infant clothing, suggests the Parenting.com article “Ready for Another Child?” You might highlight other potential savings, such as the additional deduction on your income tax.
If your husband likes the idea of having another child "one day," you may be able to persuade him that sooner is better than later by pointing out how much safer pregnancy is when you're still young. As the age of the mother increases, so does the risk of complications such as gestational diabetes, high blood pressure and preeclampsia, according to the WebMD article "Pregnancy After 35." You should wait long enough to let your body heal from the last pregnancy, advises Jennifer Wu, M.D., an obstetrician quoted in the Parenting.com article. The minimum time between the birth of one child and the conception of the next is six months.
- Marriage Builders: Should We Have Children #1
- Journal of Marriage and Family: Playing Well with Others in Kindergarten: The Benefit of Siblings at Home
- Ohio State University: Siblings Help Children Get Along With Others In Kindergarten
- Parenting.com: Ready for Another Child?
- WebMD: Pregnancy After 35
- Hemera Technologies/AbleStock.com/Getty Images