How to Be the Perfect Boyfriend

by Contributor

Women have no trouble finding a mate, let alone a date. There are men around every corner vying for your girlfriend's time and attention, so you have to step your game up if you expect to keep her. Keep reading to find some simple steps that you can take to be the perfect boyfriend.

Clean the house. Nothing says love like a clean toilet. So surprise her one evening with a spotless house. Scrub the floors, do the laundry and fill the place with potpourri. Girls love that stuff.

Leave the toilet seat down. No girl ever enjoys a cold dunk in the toilet bowl at 3 o'clock in the morning.

Become a masseur. A great boyfriend will rub her feet when she's had a rough day. The perfect boyfriend will give her a deep-tissue massage.

Women connect through talking, so ask her how she's feeling and then listen to what she has to say. Really.

Impress her friends. If they don't like you, you don't have a chance. So make a good impression. Suggest that they go shoe shopping and then out for manis and pedis--your treat.

Kill bugs. Girls don't want to do it, and they think it's sexy when you brave the bathroom alone to kill a spider. No, she doesn't want to see the trophy. Just clean up the spot and flush the evidence.

Push her buttons in the bedroom. The female form is a bit more complicated than yours, so ask her what feels good and pay attention.

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  • Make eye contact. Yes, her ****s are great, but don't look at them while she's talking. Look soulfully into her eyes whenever she speaks. It's OK to think about football or something that happened at work, as long as you remain locked on her beautiful blues.
  • If you ever want to get close to her, don't stink. Men have all sorts of odors that are not sexy. So make sure to use deodorant, shower and brush your teeth at least once a day. Cologne will not help mask your manly smell, so don't even try it.
  • When all else fails, buy her something expensive.


  • Once you give her an engagement ring, these rules become null and void. The steps to being a "perfect" husband are much harder.

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