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Marrying a controlling man can happen to anyone. Perhaps the warning signs weren’t present until later in the relationship, or maybe you didn’t realize his jealousy and intense financial management were warning signs. No matter what your situation, knowing whether your husband is behaving in ways that are controlling or abusive can help you take control of your relationship and life. Helpguide.org says that if you believe your husband is controlling or abusive, you should contact someone you trust—such as a counselor, a domestic violence shelter, a family member or friend—for help.
Jealousy and Monitoring
A controlling husband will often become jealous and will monitor your behaviors, making sure you are always where you say you are and doing what you say you are doing, according to Helpguide. A husband who makes you account for every single action you take and dollar you spend is likely a controlling one who may be emotionally or psychologically abusing you.
If you feel that your husband is keeping you from family, friends or experiencing events outside of the home, your husband is probably controlling. According to the Red Flag Campaign, a controlling partner may put down your relatives and friends, hoping to keep your relationships at bay. He may even call them names and seem angry with them. Your husband may also try to make sure you are spending time with "acceptable" people. Physical abuse can also serve as a means to isolate a partner, according to Michigan State University's Safe Place. Bruises and injuries that are obvious to onlookers can keep the abused at home to avoid questions or embarrassment.
Taking charge of finances is a subtle form of abuse a controlling husband may use to keep you in check, according to Helpguide. While a husband managing the bills is common and normal, an abusive husband may attempt to withhold money from you and will demand records of every dollar you spend. He may even give you an allowance, keep you from purchasing basic needs like clothes and medications, or take your money from you.
Violence and Threats
Controlling husbands may use violence or threats to maintain a sense of power. The Helpguide says that this could take the form of threatening injury, pain or even murder. He may also threaten to take your children from you, threaten to commit suicide to manipulate you, destroy your property or have a temper that frightens you. Forced sexual encounters is also an example of violence and is a clear sign of control and abuse.
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