In order to survive infidelity, both partners need to work at rebuilding the relationship. The partner who cheated has to show genuine remorse. Through accepting responsibility, committing to complete honesty and being an open book, the straying partner begins to show true regret for cheating. Counseling may be necessary in order to resolve the couple's issues, and a cheating partner's willingness to attend shows remorse as well.
Accepts Responsibility for Actions
True remorse for infidelity requires the cheating partner to take responsibility for his actions. A partner who blames his spouse for his straying outside the marriage is not working toward saving the relationship, says clinical psychologist Frances Cohen Praver in the Psychology Today article "Fruits or Follies of Forgiveness." Perhaps the relationship had issues before the infidelity, but that is no excuse for straying. The cheating partner should accept responsibility and acknowledge that the decision to cheat was wrong.
Commits to Total Honesty
Learning that a partner has cheated is devastating news. As the wronged partner works through processing what this means to the relationship, there may be some tough questions for the partner who cheated. In order to show regret for straying, it is important to answer every question the significant other asks with brutal honesty, advises marriage and family therapist Ondina Hatvany in the PsychCentral.com article "How to Heal From Infidelity." Even if sharing the truth is difficult, it is important that the wronged partner know there is complete honesty in dealing with this issue.
Is an Open Book
Infidelity breaks the trust in a relationship. In order to show guilt for cheating, the unfaithful partner must be willing to account for her whereabouts when her significant other is looking for her, says marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers in her Huffington Post article "For the Betrayer: Eight Things You Must Know and Do to Rebuild Trust After an Affair." The guilty partner should share her daily calendar with her partner and make her life an open book. Doing so shows her partner she is willing to prove her trustworthiness.
Infidelity in a relationship is often an issue that requires counseling to resolve. A cheating partner who is willing to seek counseling exemplifies someone who is remorseful, advises the Mayo Clinic article "Infidelity: Mending Your Marriage After an Affair." Counseling signifies an effort to work through a problem. When both partners are willing to seek help, it shows both parties are exerting time, energy and attention toward rebuilding the relationship. Individual counseling and couples counseling are both sometimes necessary in order to work through serious issues like infidelity.
Jaime Vargas-Benitez has been a parenting writer since 2010. She has worked in the child wellness field in various roles for over 20 years. Along with the experiences of raising her own kids, she has been privileged enough to participate in the raising of hundreds of other children as well.
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